by Steve Karpman with Comments by Patty E. Fleener M.S.W.
Purpose: To promote the life script.
The roles of Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim are portrayed in psychological games.
Serves as a training ground for powerlessness.
Prevents psychological equality in relationships.
Will go on as long as someone is willing to be victimized.
Think if you will about a triangle. On each end are roles that we play in life. One is the persecutor, another is the victim and the last is the rescuer.
**If anyone in this triangle changes roles, the other two roles change as well.
PERSECUTOR – “It’s All Your Fault”
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Sets strict limits unnecessarily.
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Blames
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Criticizes
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Keeps Victim oppressed
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Is mobilized by anger
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Rigid, authoritative stance
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“Critical” Parent
TO GET OFF THIS TRIANGLE, MOVE TO CLEAR STRUCTURE
VICTIM – “Poor Me”
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Feels victimized, oppressed, helpless, hopeless, powerless, ashamed
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Looks for a Rescuer that will perpetuate their negative feelings.
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If stays in Victim position, will block self from making decisions, solving problems, pleasure and self-understanding.
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“Dejected” stance.
TO GET OFF THIS TRIANGLE, MOVE TO PROBLEM SOLVING
RESCUER – “Let Me Help You”
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Rescues when really doesn’t want to.
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Feels guilty if doesn’t rescue.
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Keeps victim dependent.
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Gives permission to fail.
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Expects to fail in rescue attempts.
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“Marshmallow” Parent
TO GET OFF THIS TRIANGLE, MOVE TO CLEAR NURTURING
Be very careful who you rescue in your life as well. You may be seeing the situation from one side only. Also victims need to learn to stand on their own feet without a rescuer. If you want to help someone, work on getting that person to take care of themselves, stop blaming others and function without needing rescuers all their lives. It is very important for the victim to take full responsibility over their life as they like to point the finger at others.
Further reading about The Drama Triangle:
http://www.lynneforrest.com/html/the_faces_of_victim.html
http://www.therapyideas.net/triangles.htm
http://www.ta-tutor.com/!dratri/xdrallp.htm
